They let us out after lunch, but by then, I was a school legend. Who knows, if I had pulled that stunt earlier in the year, I might have been homecoming queen. "Anyway, to conclude this sordid tale, I got my A and my scholarship and admission into this fine bastion of higher education. As for Mr. Perkins, I know for a fact he quit or got fired later that summer. I've heard he's out of teaching, back with his old lady, and selling insurance somewhere upstate." After a short struggle, Jan stood up and walked unsteadily to the door. She paused, and turned to face her audience of one. "So that's why, dear Claire, I don't do it with white guys. Mr. Perkins turned me off the breed." Taking a deep breath, she clenched her fists and stared at the floor. Her body began to tremble as a torrent of bitterness burst forth. "That sorry bastard made me his whore, his damn slave. I hate me for not saying no. But I hate him even more for making me do it." Tears of rage broke through her protective. . I feel I'm spinning faster and faster, and that at some point I'll snap."I paused, thinking for a long moment before continuing"And the more I write, the less I seem to find anything in it. The readers become rare and gone, my stories get more and more different, standing from the crowd just for being unlike the others. Maybe there's a reader enjoying them, and I always think of this guy. I picture him, reading alone in a dark Saturday afternoon, enjoying the quietness of his home. But what's the point? The sequence of stories? I can invent hundreds of them, different plots, different characters, but they all seem the same to me. Rip the pages of a book and throw them into the air, they'll fall onto the floor, all unique, but all just the same for anyone looking at the scene."I'm making both life and writing one and the same, and they're both going in the wrong direction."That day Athena tried to console me, but I don't remember what she said. I wasn't listening. I left the Place.
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